How To Be Socialize
If you are not a socialize person , but infact you are anti social and feel alne most of time then it must be your desire to be social.
Basicaly there are a few things you need to build in your personality and they are
1-) Make Eye Contact
If someone asks you what you’re staring at, just smile and respond, “Sorry, I thought you were an old friend.” Focus on one eye and be sure to blink occasionally so you don’t look like a psycho.
2) Say Hi
When you’re comfortable making eye contact, throw in a quick ‘Hello’ with a smile. The smile is important.
3) Add a Greeting
‘Good morning/afternoon/evening’ usually does the trick. More adventurous individuals can use something more original like “What a great day to be alive, eh?”
Warning: Some people will completely ignore you and not respond, but don’t be discouraged. There are some very shy and/or angry people in this world and you have just given them one more reason to have faith in mankind.
4) Start conversations with new people
If you’ve recently been introduced to someone, or you see some new people around, go up to them and start a conversation. Even saying hi, asking for their name, and going, “Cool, nice meeting you. I’ll see you around later hopefully” can be good.
5) Pay attention to your insecurities.
Everybody feels shy or insecure from time to time, but if you feel inhibited by your shyness, it is probably because you have been telling yourself you are somehow inadequate. These feelings of inadequacy are reinforced on a daily basis by the negative things you constantly tell yourself. Learn to pay attention to negative thoughts and distinguish the rational thoughts from the irrational ones.
*Do you constantly tell yourself you’re unattractive? Do you tell yourself you’re boring? That you’re weird? Irresponsible? Negative thoughts like these are what keep you from feeling confident enough to be a social person. More importantly, they keep you from living a fulfilling life.
*Until you’ve addressed your insecurities and told yourself you’re a worthy person, you won’t be able to truly socialize.
*Sometimes we get so accustomed to these negative thoughts that we no longer notice them. Start paying to attention to the kinds of thoughts you are having.
There are four basic things you need to do are
1. Have a deep desire to connect with people
2. Take risks
3. Observe, listen, and adjust
4. Don’t get discouraged
Now I am going to explain it.
1. Assume that you have a deep desire to connect with people
Just assume that you have such a desire, but it’s important to not to take that as a given. Why do you want to be a social person? Is it because you truly want to connect with other people, or because everyone else in your family is social and you feel like the black sheep? Being a social person is not intrinsically better than being an non-social person. Everyone is different. See whether you truly want this for yourself, or whether you’re trying to live up to the expectations of others. if it’s the former, move on to step two. If it’s the latter, work instead on embracing your own traits as valid and accepting yourself.
2. Take Risks
Unless you’re a natural socialite (and even if you are), it can be scary to talk to new people. But in order to break through your own social limitations, you have to take risks. That means deliberately putting yourself in situations that you know make you uncomfortable. There is no magic potion (well, besides alcohol) that will make you comfortable without going through a gauntlet of situations that make you face and overcome your fear of social situations. You gotta go through it.
And start small. You don’t have to start with a stand up comedy routine, just make conversation with the guy at Starbucks. Smile at someone while you’re pumping gas. These little things will give you confidence and make larger social situations more accessible.
3. Observe, listen, and adjust
Pay attention to how people behave with each other, how they respond to social cues, and how they respond to things you do and say. See how the words and actions of others make you feel. Who makes you feel comfortable? Why?
Pay attention to body language, both of others and your own. Watch humans interact as you would watch the nature channel. See what makes them laugh, what makes them feel comfortable, and what does the opposite. See how people’s body language affects the way you perceive them, the way others do. People are incredibly perceptive, and our social dynamics are much more complex than they might seem. It has been said that only 7% of human communication is in the words we speak. The rest is body language, tone of voice, etc.
4. Don’t get discouraged
You’re going to make mistakes if you are getting discouraged on given projects or things. That’s a given. You’re going to say or do something that is socially awkward, or makes others uncomfortable, and you will be mortified. But don’t give up. It will take time, and you will get better
What you need to do
1.Be grateful for what you have
Before you can learn how to be more social, you need to be comfortable with who you are and be grateful for what you have. Think about everything that is good in your life, this can be family, friends, neighbours, your home, pets, education, money, photographs, and so on. Our own self-worth is easily overlooked, but taking stock of what you have and being grateful can help you build confidence in yourself and make you more willing to put yourself out there and talk to others.
2. Be positive and optimistic
People are attracted to positive and optimistic people. This point is a follow-on from the previous point. While learning how to be more social, try making a conscious effort to be more positive and things that happen to you. This isn’t just while in social situations, but at any time regardless of who is about. Things are rarely as bad as they first appear, so try to smile more and remember to…
3. laughLaugh (at appropriate times)
They say laughter is the best medicine. I don’t know how well it works for physical ailments such as flu but it certainly makes you feel better and helps you to be more positive and optimistic as well. Laughing when someone is telling a funny story helps keep you active in the conversation without having to say anything, so it’s a great way to get started becoming more social. Just be sure to laugh at the appropriate times!
4.Be nice to others
When was the last time you actively went out of your way to help someone. Doing a good deed for someone helps you feel more comfortable speaking to them in the future. Things like making someone in your office a cup of coffee, or going shopping for your elderly neighbour. The old cliché “actions speak louder than words” is certainly true when building relationships with others.
5. Ask questions
It’s a great way of keeping conversation flowing without stopping it dead. You could just reply “Yes”, but where does the conversation go from there? It’s up to you to offer a new direction for the conversation, and saying “Yes, and…” is a great way of doing this. Plus it is easy to remember.
The ultimate goal of becoming more social isn’t to sleep with the most attractive person at the bar, or to have a posse of friends who follow you. The point is to enrich your life with people that inspire you, challenge you and imbue life with a richness that can’t come from private successes alone. I believe that’s a goal worth striving for.
Originally posted 2015-08-19 07:50:59.